


Vagabonds

by Zimithrus1



Series: Can I Get a sliceofclack? [4]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Cloud is labeled as a success in this story, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, Experimentation, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hand Feeding, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Jenova!Cloud but only in the last chapter, Kissing, Light Angst, Light-hearted moments, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Survival, Who is quite Mako Poisoned/Addicted, Zack's a bit morally grayer in this one, but that's past too, in order to protect Cloud anyway, like in OG, not even sure if I'm tagging this right lol, rather than a failure, semi-cannon compliant, that occurs in the first chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25412137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zimithrus1/pseuds/Zimithrus1
Summary: Fugitives of Shin-Ra's normally aren't this elusive or lucky; always finding ways of giving them the costly slip. But if Zack wants to regain his freedom and protect the Mako-Addicted love of his life and ensure his safety - he has to be.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: Can I Get a sliceofclack? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808548
Comments: 38
Kudos: 145





	1. Origination

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, a little bit darker than everything else I've previously written 😅 But there's going to be a nice even mix of the good and the bad, so hopefully it all evens itself out in the end.
> 
> With that said, happy reading! And I hope you like it!

_‘Can you meet me at the well tonight? After patrol is done. There’s… something I’ve been needing to talk to you about.’_

_Zack didn’t really know what to make of the message on his PHS. It wasn’t like him to just message him something like this out of the blue._

_Come to think of it, he had been looking rather distracted all day today. And any time he’d try and talk to him about it (or even talk to him in general) he’d be given a nervous response before he’d dash off somewhere._ _He didn’t really know what was going through Cloud’s head. His best friend just seemed to be really jumpy and scattered and he wasn’t for sure why._

_But that changed when he heard his PHS go off just a little over five minutes ago._

_He wasn’t for sure why Cloud would want to meet him by the well to talk_ _－_ _they were sharing their own hotel room. (Though why he didn’t want to stay in his own home in his hometown no less confused him. But that wasn’t any of his business.)_ _And more importantly, why did he want to wait to talk until after patrol was done? After patrol everyone went to sleep. So what matter could possibly be so important or urgent with him that it had to wait until everyone else was asleep in the hotel?_

_Guess he was fixing to find out._

_“Something the matter, Zack?”_

_His eyes currently zoned into the message on his PHS break away and refocus towards his right. Standing tall, unbent and proud, Sephiroth smirks and his eyes give him a rare display of curiosity._

_“Oh, Seph, hey! Didn’t hear you sneak in.” Zack laughs softly._

_Sephiroth’s face twists in confusion next. “Funny. I don’t necessarily feel like I snuck in. I simply saw you standing by the window staring at your phone with quite the complex look on your face. I just decided to see what was amiss.”_

_The guy always did have a properly funny way of speaking, but that was just one of his characteristics. He’d known him for quite some time after all. (Some say they’re actually good friends.) He’d like to think so too, after… the death of his other friends anyways. He’s pretty much all he has._

_“Oh, nothing’s wrong.” Zack dismisses with a wave of his hand. “Spiky just wants to talk to me later is all.”_

_“Spiky?” The confused look stays for a moment, but it eases away into fond endearment. “Yes, Spiky_ _－_ _the small cadet that’s your very good friend, yes?”_

_“That’s the one!” Zack beams brightly. “He’s also the one that thinks of you in very high regards too, y’know.”_

_A quick, short laugh fills the air, and though it sounds cold, Zack knows there’s warmth inside. “I can tell. He can barely even look at me for a few seconds before his face turns quite the interesting shade of red.”_

_“Yeah.” Zack fondly smiles. He glances back down to his PHS and decides he better answer back. (Before Cloud can get squeamish and call off their meeting.)_

_“Hmm… you care quite fondly for him, don’t you?”_

_“Huh?” Zack breaks his eyes away from his device at that._

_“I happen to notice a light in your eyes when you talk about him or even look his way. He must be very special if he can make your eyes light like that.”_

_A blush manages to sweep over his face and he nervously laughs. “Nah…! Well, I mean, he’s my best friend and all…”_

_An all-knowing smirk travels across Sephiroth’s face before he starts to step away. “Well, I can see I’ve made you nervous. I’ll turn in for the night.”_

_“Uh, o-okay. G’night, Seph!”_

_He’s given a quick, tight smirk before Sephiroth’s tall, slim form disappears behind an open door, and shortly after, that door shuts with an almost undetectable click._

_Zack blows a noisy sigh out of his mouth before staring out the window at the top floor of the hotel._

_Cloud is his best friend yes. But if he really is just his best friend then…_

_Why does he always think about how cute he is, or how just a smile alone can make his insides tight. Why does he think about holding his hands, or running his fingers through his hair…_

_If he is his best friend and only that, then why does he want to kiss him so bad and make him his?_

_He sighs again and faintly shakes his head. He pushes those thoughts from his head and resigns himself to stare out the window instead._ _It’s been dark for a while now, but the stars and moon shine so bright out here that it coats the earth like daylight._ _He’s missed the country. He’s missed the stars and the sky and the wide open spaces and fresh air…_

_They may still be on assignment out here to investigate a faulty reactor in Nibelheim, but that won’t stop him from enjoying every aspect of it that he can._

_He turns his Mako eyes back to his PHS and re-reads the message displayed on the screen, then re-reads his half-written response. He hums deep before backspacing everything he wrote prior._ _He knows what he wants to say now that all eyes are off him._

_‘I’ll be there, Spiky. Count on it. I’ll see you in a bit.’_

_He sends the message with a quick tap, then exhales loftily and splays a gloved hand over the window. (The other holds on to his device.)_

_Somewhere, deep down inside him, he feels like he knows exactly what his best friend wants to talk to him about._ _It makes his chest feel light and tight and his insides coil like tense springs._ _He just hopes he’s secretly right._

_Just as he resigns himself to pull away from the window, he sees movement from down below behind the glass. He hums with soft alert and squints down at the mass moving about._

_Soft blond hair illuminated in the moonlight instantly shows him that it’s Cloud moving about all skittish and secretive even though he’s the one on patrol. (He could’ve just moved about like normal, but he always does his own weird thing.)_ _He watches from the window as his small form ducks close to the town’s well and glances to the left and right at breakneck speeds. Then he sees a tiny flash of light wash over his face. Even from the high up distance of the hotel from the well, he can see those sky blue eyes shimmer softly._

_Just as Zack thinks how serene those blue eyes are, the light fades away and now it’s only his hair that shines. He exhales, and without his knowledge, a pout actually manages to tug at his lips._

_But then his PHS dings in his other hand, a cute little chime echoing into his leathers gloves and muting the sound faintly. (Though the vibration still tickles.)_ _He pulls the device back up to his face and opens the new message._

 _It’s from Cloud._ _(That explains why his face lit up for a moment.)_

_‘I just finished patrol. Waiting on you now, Zack.’_

_A big grin slides over his face and he pockets his PHS. Why respond virtually when he can just do it in person?_

_He peels away from the window and hits the stairs, bounding down each creaky wooden step with hasty diligence. He doesn’t want to be too loud and alert anyone else that he’s leaving._ _He touches down to the first floor of the hotel and his Mako eyes dart around quickly. The front desk attendant has left and all the lights are off save for one near the front door. The other cadet that came with them on this mission isn’t down here either, so there’s no one around to rat him out for leaving._ _He shuffles across the floor with electric energy crackling to life in his chest. (If he had a tail it’d probably be wagging at mach 1 speed.)_

_He quietly pops the front door open just wide enough for his rather bulky frame to slide out. When the cool, country night air greets him, he closes the door just as softly as he opened it._

_Even from here he can still see Cloud standing by the well. Though now that he’s on ground level he can actually see more than just his hair. He can see his entire infantry uniform and his whole, tiny lanky self._

_He’s leaning against the well with what looks to be his hands in front of him. It’s hard to tell since he’s still a good distance away, but it looks like he might be wringing out his fingers._

_Wasting no time, Zack lightly jogs his way over to the well, not wanting to take his time._

_When he hears him approaching, Cloud’s head jolts up quickly and there’s pale shock on his face. But when he sees it’s him and not someone else, the shock goes away and a queasy smile replaces it._

_Oh, Zack adores that queasy smile. He does it all the time when he’s nervous, or even if he just looks at him for too long. He has to say it’s rather cute._

_Actually his entire best friend is rather cute if he’s being honest with himself._

_“Hey.” Cloud’s wispy alto voice greets when he’s close enough._

_“Heya~” Zack greets back with a quiet bounce._

_He finally stops his light jog when he’s right next to his best friend and gives him a smile as bright as the moon._ _“So,” He muses as he leans against the well and crosses his arms over his chest. “What did you want to talk to me about, Spiky?”_

_Now Cloud can’t seem to look at him. He ducks his face away, hiding it behind the shadow of the well and taking it away from the pale moonlight._

_‘Don’t hide that cute little face.’_

_“Spike?”_

_That face still hides away in the shadows, but his body shifts a little. He can tell he’s extremely nervous._

_“...Cloud?”_

_When his actual name is said_ _－_ _rather than his favorite nickname variations for him_ _－_ _that’s what pulls his face out of the shadows and back into the moonlight again._

 _Oh, the way his sky blue eyes shine in the moonlight, and how the reflection of the stars in them make it look like they’re shimmering._ _It’s more breathtaking than the night sky they stand under._

_Zack peels himself off the well and turns to face him fully, slouching his posture a little so he feels less nervous. “What’s the matter?” He asks and tilts his head to the right._

_Cloud’s blue eyes glance to the side and now a bright rubicund blush consumes his entire face, even blotching down his neck before it disappears behind his uniform muffler._

_Just when Zack is about to ask him what’s wrong again_ _－_

_“We’ve…” Cloud’s quiet voice speaks at last._

_He bites back the words in his mouth and swallows them._

_“We’ve… been friends for… a while now…”_

_Zack wants to say something in between those silent pauses, but he also doesn’t want to interrupt and take away the courage his best friend is trying to build up._

_“And… friends are… well…” Then his whole body shrinks away into the well’s massive shadow. “I… I can’t do this…” He mutters._

_Zack picks up that quiet mutter with ease thanks to his enhanced hearing. But now that he’s disengaging, he knows now is the time to speak._ _“What do you mean you can’t do this, Cloud? What’s going on?” He makes his tone as sweet and caring as it can be_ _－_ _like the sweetest, richest honey in all of Gaia._

_“...I’m sorry. I’m wasting your time.”_

_He hears Cloud start to shift away and he can’t have that happening._

_Just as he hears his boots shift the dirt and gravel to move away, Zack reaches out into the shadows and grabs. His hands instinctively grapple to Cloud’s and keeps him from skittering away._

_“Hold on there,” Zack says with an easy tone. “You aren’t wasting my time at all. Though you would be if you left now.” He states._

_Cloud keeps himself glued to the shadows and he knows he’s going to have to pull him back into the moonlight._

_“You obviously have something on your mind,” He says as he gently tugs his best friend’s hand toward him. He takes a step forward in response. “Something that’s probably really hard for you to say,” He tugs on his hand again and elicits another step forward. “But I want you to know,” Tug. Step. “That I’m here to listen, no matter what, okay?”_

_With that last sentence, he successfully pulls Cloud back into the moonlight, away from the shadows of the well._

_His nervous expression, his small stance, the way he coyly holds himself with a fevery blush… it’s so breathtaking that Zack can barely even breathe. But he does his best to keep a steady breath anyway. He doesn’t want to further freak out his skittish best friend._

_In order to keep him from slinking away again, he keeps his hands in Cloud’s and holds fast._

_He likes this more than he’d like to admit._

_But then Cloud’s eyes finally reconnect with his and the shimmering glow from the stars in the sky lights them up again._

_“So, let’s try this again,” Zack smiles and squeezes his hands gently. “What do you want to talk about, Cloud?”_

_“W-Well…” He tries again, but this time he doesn’t break his eyes away. Zack makes sure to give him a bright, soft smile so that they don’t. “We’ve… been friends, best friends, for a while now… and friends are… honest… with each other and they… they don’t keep secrets…”_

_He’s finally easing those words out of him. Guess all he had to do was hold on to him and tell him he’d listen to matter what. He just needed that reassurance to talk, he supposed._

_“Friends, they tell each other what’s… going on and… how they feel, and… well, they do a lot of stuff… a lot of stuff I struggle with… especially now…”_

_Zack feels his insides coil and his muscles clench in response. His gut feeling from earlier is coming in strong and he feels like he knows exactly what words are going to come out of his best friend’s mouth._

_‘I want to be honest with you.’_

_“But… I want to be honest with you…”_

_Nailed it._

_“And to be honest with you… I have to put myself on the line and take a chance. I… I just… I can’t…”_

_He’s losing his resolve. He can tell the moment Cloud’s eyes look down at the ground and a sad sheen fills them._

_Now, it’s Zack’s turn to take a chance. His best friend is trying hard enough_ _－_ _it’s time to meet him halfway._

_He just hopes his gut feeling is actually reading right._

_Zack takes one hand away from Cloud’s, raising it up and tucking it under his chin. He tilts his best friend’s face back up and a quiet gasp follows his actions._ _Now he’s looking at him again and the moon reflects in his eyes brighter than the sun._

_Then he takes his chance._

_He leans in and plants a soft, tender kiss upon the lips of his best friend._

_There’s hesitation, then shock that follows his sudden actions. He doesn’t push it too far, so he pulls his lips away and gazes into those eyes to gauge his reaction, still keeping his hand tilting his head up._

_Cloud’s face is bright red and his mouth is slightly parted and he’s barely even breathing. He looks like a lost kitten trapped in a thunderstorm._

_But then he leans his face in slowly, gently, then softly returns the kiss with one of his own._

_His gut was right after all._

_Their lips glide across the other, faint guttural heat brewing deep within. Every peck against the flesh ignites a quiet fire between them._ _Zack curls his hands around Cloud’s back and pulls him closer, turning the fire up a little louder, and he responds by reaching up and wrapping his arms around his neck, and they deepen their passion with firmer, wetter kisses._ _He even manages to siphon a timid, squeaky inhale from his mouth and he sighs into it._

_Making out under the moonlight with best friend turned romantic interest? There’s nothing better than that._

_After a few more heated kisses, they both pull away with gentle noises of satisfaction, and it’s then the moon shines bright in both their eyes._

_“You… took the words right out of my mouth.” Cloud softly smiles with a wonderfully flushed face._

_“I was thinking the same thing.”_

Zack snaps awake with a faint gasp and a soft jolt. His eyes display a dark, starless sky without a moon to brighten it peaking through the dense foliage of the trees. He tilts his head down and groans, his neck aching from the awkward position.

He feels a weight on his chest, and when he looks further down, he sees the lithe, malnourished frame of Cloud resting limp against him. He sighs again with a heavy sense of dread lingering within and runs a hand through those limp blond locks.

How long had they been on the run? How long had it been since the Nibelheim incident? How long had his significant other been practically comatose from severe Mako addiction?

He closed his eyes and exhaled forcefully. He lost count a long time ago. He had seen the moon cycle from new to new at least six times since their escape, if that was any indication.

He just wanted to be free. To live a free life with Cloud by his side. But that ended when Nibelheim burned to the ground who knows how long ago.

Now－now they live like this: scrounging around, wandering from place to place and never staying long, all while the Shin-Ra army hunts them down like rats.

If only if only, Cloud hadn’t been labeled a success, (even in his current state.)

Zack sighs again and places a tense kiss to those limp locks. He manages to see the eerie glow of Mako green swirling in his open eyes and it makes his chest ache.

“Get some sleep, Cloud.” He says with a quiet voice.

What he wouldn’t give to see those eyes be sky blue again, shimmering with the starlight they once had in them that night in Nibelheim so long ago…


	2. Collation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The birds always know where the food is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 ready and raring to go! :) I know this one's a bit of a darker story, but I hope it still meets expectations 😊
> 
> With that said - happy reading! 📖

The morning sun beams down hot against them even through the foliage of the cedar trees. It thickens the damp air and turns the woods into a steamy sauna with one too many coals. (Though the noisy cicadas _love_ it－it’s practically all they can hear.)

It really sucks being on the run under a hot summer sun.

Zack’s hair clings to the back of his neck and the rest of him sweats underneath his thick knit-top. The sickly heat radiating off Cloud’s cataleptic form doesn’t help either. (It just adds to the sweat, if anything.)

But at least they’re making good pace today.

Cloud’s a bit more coherent than usual this morning, so Zack doesn’t have to cart him around. All he has to do is support him as they walk, a hand over his shoulders with a slight lean in with each slow step forward. _Though his body is still rather rigid._

He’d have days like this－days where he could manage to walk almost on his own with the right support, or actually manage to consciously blink his eyes or make a sound. And these days definitely made it easier on him. Made him hopeful that his significant other might recover quickly.

But he’d have days that weren’t so hopeful－days when he couldn’t even blink on his own, drooling almost constantly, unable to even swallow, as not a single muscle in his body worked. Those were the days that were the hardest on Zack. Those days made him even wonder if Cloud really was still with him.

He just hoped his entire personality didn’t get wiped away, overfilled and flooded out with all of the Mako and Jenova cells metallicly pushed into his veins over the course of X amount time.

_“...hng…”_

Zack recognizes the croak coming quiet and strained from the back of Cloud’s throat－he’s hungry.

“Don’t you worry,” Zack assures as he tightens his hold around his side. “I’ll get you something to eat soon.” (He ignores the rumble in his own stomach.)

His Mako blue eyes glance up against the tall cedar trees and he looks about the area. Green and brown floods his eyes and the cicadas _zwee_ loudly perched on the bark of the trees. He hasn’t seen a fruit tree or a berry bush in two days. All he’s seen is cedar, pine, cedar, oak, repeat. What he wouldn’t give for a walnut tree or something…

When eyes detect zero edible morsels in the area, Zack sighs and hangs his head down gently. “Sorry you always gotta wait so long for breakfast. There’s not exactly an all-you-can-eat pancake buffet around these parts.”

Though he does look around as though there _might_ be one. All he does is sigh again when he fools himself.

He wished Cloud would at least humor him with a noise every now and again, aside from his basic necessity grunts and croaks. It’s hard trying to hold a conversation with someone who can barely answer back even on a _good_ day. He just wish he could manually flush out the Mako coursing through his veins and causing his addiction. But all he can do is keep him moving.

If they don’t keep moving they’ll be caught. If they don’t keep moving, they’ll never know freedom again. If they don’t keep moving, Cloud’s muscles will atrophy. If they don’t get keep moving, they die.

Simple as that.

A bluebird flutters across the canopy and instantly grabs Zack’s attention. He watches it flutter off to the north in a straight pattern before his eyes widen.

“Come on, we gotta book it, Cloud.”

He picks him up and tosses him over his shoulder now. If they want to follow that bird then they can’t drag their feet.

Where the birds go is where the food usually is.

He turns his slow drag into a light jog, making sure he’s got a good grip on his beloved while still following that bluebird with his sharp eyes. It never darts off to the side or zigzags in the air－it flies with clear direction and unbreakable focus. So much so it doesn’t even pay their loud frames hobbling after any mind.

The light grows brighter the further Zack follows the swift bluebird, and the gaps in the woods foliage grow wider and brighter. Zack keeps following, hot on the trail as a dirt path starts to form under his feet. Then he glances ahead of the bird to see a break in the trees.

The bird breaks through the barrier of trees and out into the open wilderness beyond. But Zack instantly hits the brakes and screeches to a halt.

The tips of his boots barely cross over the shadowy line cast from the safety of the trees cover. The scuffed, faded black material almost shines dull in the unbridled morning sunlight. But he takes a step back and allows the shadows to swallow him. A tense, hollow look settles over his face.

Leaving the woods meant losing their cover.

Willingly losing cover is a dangerous move－it’s a move that’s nearly gotten them caught almost four or five times already.

He needs to stay in the cover.

But in the distance, he can see that bluebird flutter around before perching itself in a dumbapple tree further into the open wild. There are a few other dumbapple trees around the one as well no more than a minute’s walk in front of him.

Actually, it looks like this might be on someone’s plot of land. (He can see a white picket fence surrounding a small log cabin a little further down the way.)

He knows he needs to stay in the cover.

But he’s so _hungry._ He hasn’t had anything to eat in two days. And he knows Cloud’s hungry too, (hopefully not nearly as bad as he is).

He always gives as much food to him as possible. If there’s not enough, he’ll give away his portion. His beloved needs it more than he does. If he doesn’t take care of him as best he can, then he might not _ever_ recover.

But… What if Shin-Ra’s already beaten them here? What if they’ve already managed to find the person who lives in the cabin and tell them about the two of them: fugitives on the run. If they catch wind of them on their property, he’s as good as dead no matter _who_ gets to them first.

He’s seen the bounty on their heads plenty of times－through small towns in the shadows, or on posters at backwater fuel stations. The bounty on Zack’s head is high (if he’s brought back dead anyway). But the bounty on Cloud’s head alive is double, _triple,_ what his is at its best. They won’t accept him dead either.

After all, why would they?

Cloud’s the one who took out the Great, Mighty, and Powerful Sephiroth after all－Shin-Ra’s _and_ Professor Hojo’s greatest creation.

Zack shakes his head and clenches his jaw, hissing faintly from the shadows of the trees. He hates scavenging around like this, sneaking and stealing to survive. But he _has_ to. If he doesn’t do this, then Cloud won’t make it.

He hisses again and sets firm eyes on the dumbapple orchard.

He’s going to do _everything_ he can to protect him－no matter the cost to himself.

“Okay, Cloud… It’s time for Operation: Breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! Dumbapples are actually quite similar to an apple that already exists - the Black Diamond apple to be specific! They both share deep purple skin and have a very sweet center! 🍎💜 (Too bad the real apples are hella expensive!)
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the random apple trivia, and please let me know what you thought if you'd like! 😊
> 
> Until tomorrow~


	3. Ritual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I've been so lazy about writing lately (even though it probably doesn't look like it XD) I don't even have all of the chapters for this thing finished yet! and I haven't even gotten a jump on next week's prompts either! Eek! 👻 I just hope I don't lose my lead! Once I lose that I usually lose the drive to keep writing 😰
> 
> Anyway, happy reading! 📖

Zack moves through the grass, stepping through the flowing fields of yellow and green with the quiet precision of a wounded street dog－cautiously, carefully, but fiercely. Once proclaimed pup grown into a fine ragged bait dog, reduced to violent terror and invisibility through fear.

But this scared black bait dog is loyal. Has a solemn duty tied to his neck like a branded collar and no matter how he shakes, growls, or sways－it stays. It’s his responsibility to look after his love, his best friend, his charge－his neglected little pup so carelessly played with then tossed aside to rot.

His sharp, Mako blue eyes glanced behind him for only a moment.

Cloud’s body rests upon the thick trunk of a cedar tree nearby the dividing line from cover to safety. His form is slouched and his eyes are still unmoving and staring, the bright green swirl from poisoning still so predominant.

He should be safe there, even if he gets spotted. He’s got the Buster sword stuck into the ground in front of him for added measure.

He rights his eyes ahead again, sharp gaze staring down the bluebird that led him to this field with these dumbapple trees.

He _has_ to protect and attend to his wounded wheat-colored pup no matter what it takes－ _or_ costs. _That_ is his responsibility as not only an old upper-classed war mutt, but as a friend and lover also.

Zack’s on the move again, winding through the grass as high-alert eyes scan the field on either side.

So far so good.

The only sign of life he’s seen out here is the bird that led him here.

Hopefully this would be a conflict free operation.

He quickens the pace, turning his slow stalk into a locked on approach. The sooner he gets there the better. Eyes continue to scan the field but still yield him no signs of life within the vicinity. It’s then the wounded black war mutt enters the small orchard, the grass changing to dirt under his scuffed boots. He makes his way over to the tree with the bluebird still happily twittering away on one of its branches.

He runs a hand across the smooth bark of the tree, then tilts his head up to get a better look. Ripe, purple apples hang from the stemmed branches with a tantalizing sheen. His mouth fiercely waters and his stomach growls in tandem. He grabs a low branch of the tree and subconsciously licks his lips out of reflex.

He hasn’t had produce this fresh in such a long time. Most of the food he scrounges up is already aged and in such small portions. He’s thankful his sullied SOLDIER uniform has really deep pockets－front and back.

Zack hoists himself up to the lowest branch with ease, playing chimera by switching from dog mode to monkey mode. (A mode that used to be a secondary childhood default.) With his enhanced strength, he makes tree-climbing look as easy as breathing.

The breeze faintly picks up the higher he climbs the tree and the early morning is starting to bleed into late morning, raising the hot summer sun up higher into the cloudless sky.

He’d better hurry. He’d like to be back in the shade to eat, but he also doesn’t like leaving Cloud unattended in his current state for long－too much could happen if he’s not around.

Zack finally climbs his way up high enough to reach the first of the dumbapples. They seem like they glitter when the filtered sunlight peaks through the shade of the tree leaves. He swallows out of reflex and instantly reaches for the closest ones, mouth salivating.

While he didn’t see anyone around before, that all could change now that he’s up here and can’t survey the area anymore. Every single action out here is do or die－one mistake can cost them everything.

He stuffs as many dumbapples into his right front pocket as he can, then scales around the tree to another side to do the same with the left pocket. He’s able to fit three decent sized apples into a front pocket. _Not bad._

The breeze blows by again and shakes the leaves, dancing the sunlight across Zack’s tanned skin. At least this breeze negates some of the summer heat. _It also keeps him from sweating as much._

Just as he fills up his other front pocket, he hears a snap from somewhere nearby. His head perks and his ears twitch, activating cat-like features he’s had to adapt to while on the run. He hears the bluebird in the tree chirp before quickly taking flight. He glances all about the tree. Someone or some _thing_ must be nearby. But with how camouflaged he is with the tree, he can’t see anything past the green leaf haze surrounding him.

He has to lower himself down and further increase his chances of being discovered. But if he wants to know what’s going on, he has to take that risky chance.

He keeps his cat mode on while tapping into his dormant monkey mode－staying alert and on edge even as he climbs back down the tree with practiced precision.

Once Zack pulls his mechanically trained eyes out of the green haze, he’s quick to resume his environmental scans.

The dirt squished around his steps is still the same. There’s no sign of life near the other trees nor near the cabin a bit further down. There’s nothing that’s changed in this orchard or in the surrounding plots of land.

If nothing’s changed, then what caused the－

Instantly, a large branch from higher up in the tree comes crashing down, smashing into other branches and snapping them off with ease. Leaves, fruit and all come crashing down with the force of a small tree toppling over.

That noise could alert someone.

Zack turns off cat mode and switches straight into dog mode, leaping out of the tree and hitting the sticks on the ground with a tuck and roll. His world spins once, then twice, before he rolls his way up into a neutral sitting position.

Here on the ground－while he gathers his spinning senses－Zack feels a light sensation brush over the back of his right hand. When his head stops spinning, he sees a few termites wriggling about near his wrist. With a quick grossed-out noise, he flicks the bugs off his hand and trains his eyes around him.

There are swarms of termites eating away at the insides of the tree branches that had fallen. _Looks like something within the tree had rotted, hence the termites._ It also explains why the branch suddenly gave way and crashed down.

_“...Did you hear that?”_

_“...Sounds like it came from the orchard!”_

Zack’s ears twitch at the sound of voices in the distance. His rights his head forward and glances toward the cabin. There, he sees the tiny forms of two men heading his way.

He scrambles to his feet and books it back to the line of cover, dashing through those rolling grass fields with pockets full of apples. He doesn’t stop sprinting until the shade of the cedar trees washes over his form and he breaks through with a rustle of air and leaves.

Though he manages to snag a tree root poking out of the ground and instantly eats dirt with a muted cry of surprise. His head swims and he spits the fresh dirt and decayed leaves from seasons’ past out of his mouth with an overdramatic retch.

Cloud’s form remains stationary and unblinking, though once upon a time he would have wildly cackled at his poor footing until his sides split.

“ _Uff_ , careful,” Zack softly laughs as he pushes himself into a sitting position. “That first step’s a doozy!” He turns his grin to Cloud, but it falls when he sees his still form.

He gets back up on his feet, leaves crunch under his weight and shifts as he moves. He stops in front of his cataleptic love and a pitiful half-smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. “At least I snagged us a pretty good breakfast.” He says as he yanks the Buster sword from the ground and holsters it to his back once more.

Cloud still says nothing.

“But, I think we’re going to have to take this meal to-go.” Zack bends over and picks Cloud up, hoisting him up and draping him over his shoulder. “I _might’ve_ made a little mess.”

Just as the two men make it to the orchard to inspect the situation, Zack’s already long gone.

* * *

“ _Well~_ _this_ looks like a good spot to kick back and eat!”

Zack’s eyes fill with the sights of a small clearing deeper in the woods. There’s large rocks to rest against, plenty of sunlight beaming in that doesn’t feel stickily hot, and even a small stream cutting through (though full of dirt and twigs as it may be). And when their time here is up, they can simply follow the stream and hopefully it’ll lead them to a fresher body of water.

At least there are more birds here. They chirp and sing high up in the trees and flutter across the sky, hopping from branch to branch. It really helps him feel less alone.

Well, he has Cloud, of course－but he can only do so much in his current state. Talking is essentially out of the question, unless he’s lucky enough that he has a _really, really,_ good day. But even then his words are usually short, broken sentences that don’t hold much life in them.

But still, even hearing portions of his name roll off his tongue is good enough for Zack.

“... _hng…”_

“I know, I know－you’re hungry.” He pats his back with the hand supporting him. “Let’s get you comfortable first, okay? I can imagine it’d be hard to munch on something upside-down!”

Silence again.

Zack fights the sigh that tries to spill from his lips and morphs it into a tight smirk instead. It’s just so hard trying to be positive and uplifting when the whole reason why he wants to be is currently unresponsive and suffering through severe Mako withdrawal. He just wishes he could have done _more_ for him. Wishes he could’ve fought off the lab techs operating on him, break out of his restraints and stop them himself. Wishes he could’ve kept him from pickling in Mako for far too long…

Wishes he could have the time to simply _love_ him more.

The sigh he’s holding in then manages to penetrate the stronghold of his lips as he rests Cloud against a smooth looking rock. He stares into his swirling Mako eyes, as if trying to glance through that haze and actually see his true self－not this empty shell Shin-Ra had hollowed him out to be.

But he can’t. That swirl is so strong. That green so overpowering. He raises up his hands and cups Cloud’s cheeks tenderly, gently messaging his pale, cold skin.

“You’re still in there… right?”

“...”

Zack dips his head down gently and closes his eyes. Looks like today wasn’t going to be a good progress day after all.

_“...ah…”_

His head instantly shoots back up and stares right through those swirling green eyes.

There’s a spark.

The faintest, tiniest, dullest little spark Zack’s seen in eons. But it’s there－dimly flickering behind that strong green swirl.

_“...za…ck…”_

Cloud’s mouth is barely able to twitch out the sounds of his name, his voice so quiet, raw and slurred. But it’s there. _He’s_ there.

He’s still in there.

Zack exhales in great relief and a wide smile stretches over his face. He pulls Cloud’s body away from the rock and clings to him tight, nestling his face into the crook of his cold neck.

“Thank Gaia you’re still with me.” He breathes, then plants a soft kiss behind his ear. “You just keep fighting, okay? I’ll handle the rest.” He pulls away and fishes out a big bright grin. “Now, let’s get some food in you.” He leans Cloud back against the rock carefully with both hands.

Then he reaches into his right pocket and takes out of of the many dumbapples he managed to snag, tossing it in the air before catching it in his hand again. “Hope you like dumbapples.”

Zack decides to tell a story while he goes about his usual motions for feeding him.

“Y’know a long time ago, my old mentor, Angeal－I think you met him once－told me this story about dumbapples…” Zack says with a faint grin as he takes a petite bite out of the apple.

It’s so sweet. Sweeter than any other fruit he’s ever had. And the texture of the skin is so smooth and rich and it makes his stomach growl. As funny-looking as they are, they’re the best fruit to eat in all of Gaia.

But this apple isn’t for him.

He spits the small piece of apple from his mouth and into his hand. “I remember he was telling me about how he grew up poor and always marveled at the richest house in the village, not because they were rich, but because they had the biggest dumbapple tree in that whole village,” He says before he bites that bite in half.

Cloud watches with blank eyes per usual, the spark in them gone. (But Zack knows he’s still in there.)

“I remember he said he’d never resort to stealing or anything of the sort,”

He takes off the glove on his right hand and sets it on his lap. Then he reaches out with his bare hand and sticks his index finger between Cloud’s lips, parting his mouth open gently.

“...He said he didn’t steal from the wealthiest house with the biggest tree, because the man’s son was his best friend,”

He takes the small, bitten piece of apple from his other hand before gently pressing it into the gap he made in Cloud’s mouth. He grabs his jaw softly before working it himself to get him to chew.

“Then I remember I asked him what the point of the story was. We were on a mission in Wutai, see, so I was missing the point. But then he smirks at me and says ‘no story is not worth hearing’,”

When the bite of apple has been externally chewed enough, Zack gently tips Cloud’s head back and blows air into his mouth, which gets him to swallow out of reflex and the food goes down.

“Then he starts laughing and walks ahead of me and I just yelled at him and pouted a little. But looking back on it I think he was just trying to help curb my nervous energy,”

He repeats the process with the other piece of dumbapple, having the rhythm of their ritual down pat so well he could do it blindfolded with one arm. A bit of drool manages to spill from Cloud’s bottom lip and Zack brushes it away with his thumb as though it were only water.

“I miss him sometimes, y’know?” He softly smirks and takes another small bite from the apple and spits it back into his hand.  
“The guy was my mentor for two years, ever since I made Third-Class at 14,” He inserts the tiny bite into his mouth and moves his jaw again.  
“It still hurts when I think about him. Just wish he didn’t put the responsibility of ending his pain on me is all,” The smile on his face is sad as he blows into his mouth to get him to swallow.  
“But the past is past, huh, Spike?” He wipes away the sadness and replaces it with his old spunk. “If I don’t quit talking I’ll never finish feeding you~”

So, he goes through the usual quiet motions of feeding his love and planting soft kisses to his cheeks or forehead in between.

He’s just thankful they got some good food for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a much light-hearted chapter for sure here! i can't have too much angst or I'll make myself upset haha 😅 As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> See you again tomorrow~


	4. Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud's nightmare sheds a fraction of light on his current state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I meant to have this posted way sooner, but I had a pretty traumatizing event happen within the last twelve hours and I'm definitely not at my best haha. But here I am anyway.
> 
> Happy reading!

_It wriggles_ _－_ _clawing around his insides like sharp-toothed maggots. His muscles contract on their own, twisting and tightening and he’s almost unable to breathe. His gut clenches and constricts around a large tube inserting unknown substances straight into his stomach, contracting as if trying to squeeze it back out._

_But it rushes in too fast, too powerful. His stomach takes in more than it can hold and it leaks out from the gaps between the large tube and the soft, split lining of his stomach._

_It feels like the substance wriggles to every part of his body, traveling through every vein and fiber, down to the last strand of DNA he has. And it burns. It burns and it’s thick and hot. And he’s full. He’s so, so full and he doesn’t want anymore._

_He fights the restraints at his wrists and his tender, raw flesh tears against the thick leather straps. He’s practically rubbed most of the layers of his skin off on these cuffs_ _－_ _they’re stained red._

_But just like this time and the time before, Cloud knows he’s not going anywhere._

_But at least if he tries to show some resistance, then he can help ease his best friend’s panic. Scratch that, they’re more than that._

Were _－_ _more than that._

_Whatever they were before this? Before the burning of Nibelheim, before the slaying of Sephiroth, before all of the tests and trials, this torture and agony… there’s no room for it here._

_Even though he wishes there was._

_He didn’t even get enough time to properly date his best friend turned boyfriend before their world went to shit._

_Oh._

_He’s managed to go to a separate space in his head, where the pain becomes numb and tolerable. So much so it lets him drift away to think about what he had_ _－_ _before it all got stripped away._

_“Professor, Project C is leveling out again. Should I stop the procedure?” The voice of a tired assistant asks._

_Yes. Once he caps and levels out, the Professor and all of his assistants get bored with him_ _－_ _they’ve been through this procedure multiple times, and it always yields the exact same results._

_He was called a Failure, after all._

_But then, the Professor_ _－_ _the one who stands in front of him during every substance injection_ _－_ _does something to break the painful ritual._

_“Raise Mako Output by 25%.”_

_“S-Sir?”_

_“Go on.”_

_There’s a tick of silence and suddenly the sound of the machine that powers the tube pumping the strange substances roars louder._

_It flows in thicker, the viscosity like jelly and he’s beyond full now. He feels so stuffed and bloated and more of the substance drips out of his body and the tube, getting silver and green all over the floor below the cold operating table._

_It wriggles_ _－_ _clawing around his insides like sharp-toothed maggots._

 _But now it suffocates_ _－_ _leaking into his organs like warm syrup. It coats, stiffens, then adds a new hard coat to the soft lining of his insides._

_He even feels it swelling in his throat, constricting his airflow, and now their are tears starting to forcefully form on their own._

_But the tears blur his eyes a bright green and suddenly he’s crying that green and silver from the tube. Then it starts to drip from his nose, and then the clawing, suffocating substance completely fills his face. Every open orifice bleeds green and silver._

_He can’t breathe. It’s so thick. He can’t breathe, he can’t, he can’t_ _－_

 _Then he hears pounding_ _－_ _muted, watery, angry pounding. He knows that sound. He knows it as well as the pain and suffocation gripping his entire body. He doesn’t even need to see to know. (Not that he could anyway, everything still drips green and silver.)_

_In the back, nearly wedged into a corner, is the form of his significant other banging on the glass from inside his Mako Containment chamber. He makes the noises and usurps disobedience to get them to stop filling him like a holiday turkey. Even after four rounds of sedatives he still fights to keep him as undamaged as possible._

_“Kinley, please correct Project Z’s disposition again. I can’t have its annoyance get in the way of my newest hypothesis.” The Professor waves his hand flippantly._

_“Sir, I can’t use any more sedatives on_ _－_ _”_

_“Permanently. I’m done with keeping that disappointment around.” A sly smirk spreads across the professor’s face, as if he knows what will happen next._

_…What?_

_No._

_No!_

_He can’t die. He can’t! Zack’s the only reason he’s still here, holding on, enduring this absolute Hell!_

_A seering hot sensation spreads over the wriggling, suffocating substance, fills his face and turns off the tap to his secreting orifices. It’s then he feels a presence in his head, like someone’s sharing his brain._

_But the grin on the Professor’s face stretches and stained teeth become visible. “Just be sure to clean up the Containment chamber when you’re finished Kinley. I can’t have its filthy blood contaminating my equipment.”_

_A white hot flash surges through him in that moment and a voice whispers inside his mind._ _‘Meld with Mother, and she will protect Her Child’s favorite possession.’_

_Then there’s a click in his head as though something unlocks._

_Then the machine pumping the substance into him starts to beep rapidly, and the smirk on the Professor’s face is a full-blown sneer._

_“Reaction to Jenova_ _－_ _detected at last. Who knew that useless First I kept around would be the trigger?” He turns his head towards his assistant. “Kinley, disregard that order and please raise the Mako Output to 50% and add a fresh injection of Jenova cells. We’re finally getting some pleasant results.”_

_The banging rings harder from the chamber in the distance, but now it’s ignored._

_Then the wriggling, suffocating pain comes back tenfold and now he’s forcefully vomiting up what his body cannot handle. The Professor cackles._

Zack awakes to the sound of strained screaming. He snaps alert with a violent jolt and glances ahead of him.

Cloud is still in the same position he had been left in against the rock, but his mouth had unhinged and now he’s screaming using a voice that barely knows how to work.

Instantly, he scrambles his way over, half-way on his feet but still half-way shuffling against the ground. This isn’t the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last either.

It’s a 50/50 chance whenever Cloud falls asleep－he’ll either regain consciousness quietly and be unresponsive for a long time, or he’ll awaken screaming and crying and lock up shortly after, (usually for the rest of the time he’s conscious).

“Hey- hey, hey, it’s okay, Cloud.” Zack’s instantly soothing him before he even has a chance to reach out and touch him. “You just had another bad nightmare again, that’s all. You’re safe now.” He says as he peels his limp body from the rock and holds tight to him.

Cloud’s voice keeps screaming, even though the strangled, unnatural sound is muted while buried in his turtleneck top. He uses one hand to run through his hair, pushing back those chaotic spikes as the other wraps tight around his back.

_“za…za…za…”_

“Hey, I’m right here, Cloud. I’m here.” He rests his hand on the back of his head and holds him as tight as he can.

His words get him to stop screaming, but he can feel his mouth barely twitching out the movements to make the sound of his name, even though nothing comes out now.

He feels copious amounts of sweat bleeding through his own clothes and even his kindred spirit’s hair is saturated. He pulls his head back and glances all over, gauging his condition with analytical eyes.

His uniform is drenched in sweat and unfortunately his nightmare must have been a bad one－he notices he’s wet himself too. (It always happens after a particularly bad nightmare.)

Zack clenches his teeth and hisses sharply. He’s seething with anger at what Cloud continues to have to endure, even though they’ve escaped those past horrors.

He hates Shin-Ra. He hates the Science Department. He hates Mako. He hates himself for not being able to do more. He hates it all; just like Tifa had said all those weeks or months or years ago. He finally agrees with her and understands her hatred. But when he realizes he’s practically digging his nails into Cloud, he eases the tension in his body and forces himself to breathe deep.

Right now his anger means nothing. He has Cloud to take care of and worry about right now.

Zack turns his tense affection into something softer, melting away his sorrow and turning it into empathy as he kisses his love’s forehead.

He’s finally not screaming anymore and he’s back to his usual, cataleptic state complete with glowing green eyes.

“I hate to move you so soon after a bad nightmare, but,” Zack sighs before he moves to hoist Cloud over his shoulder. “We’ve gotta find some fresher water so we can clean up a bit.”

The stream in their woodsy clearing wouldn’t suffice for that－it’s too shallow and narrow and much too full of twigs and dirt and who else knows what. But Zack’s learned that if he follows the stream’s current backwards, he’ll eventually find the source of the water in a more pure state.

“After we find a place to clean up, we can munch on some more dumbapples. That sound good to you?” Zack smiles even though he’s greeted with the usual silence. “Right.”

So he moves away from their clearing and follows the stream.

Staying in one place for too long is dangerous anyway－Shin-Ra eventually catches up.

They always do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter, and I hope it wasn't toooo gorey or anything. (Hopefully just the right amount lol)
> 
> See you tomorrow~


	5. Cleanse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just wash it all away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, here I am again with another chapter! Thanks for your concern earlier in my last one, I appreciate that so much. 💚 I'm still struggling as the reality of it sinks in and it really sucks. I'll leave some deets at the last AN so you guys can simply enjoy the chapter first lol! Annnyway you guys are here for some fic! And I am here to provide! 😊
> 
> So, happy reading! 💗

“Oh, wow~!” Zack’s eyes glimmer faintly in the early evening light. “Get a load of this, Cloud!”

He stops walking and stares ahead with wide eyes. They’ve followed that dirty stream all the way back to its source－a quaint but rushing little waterfall nestled in between two tall cliff-sides. The scent of spring wafts in through his nose, even if it is in the middle of summer.

“Now _this_ is a good spot to get you all cleaned up!” Zack smiles at him, and even though he’s given the usual blank look back, he still keeps his chipper attitude.

He resumes the task of walking, wanting to get a little closer to that waterfall. This place though, it’s the perfect cover for a little while. There are trees all around the waterfall and stream and the tall cliffs keep one side closed off. (They don’t have to worry about an all-sides ambush now.) There’s only one or two directions that Shin-Ra’s forces could show up by, but with all the trees still situated haphazardly around them, he knows he could easily give them the slip. (The rushing sounds of waterfall provides the perfect cover, so they can be as loud as they want if or when that happens.)

Zack stops walking when he stands near the base of the waterfall and takes another look around. He wants to make sure they rest under a large tree with good shade for them, and good sunlight to dry out Cloud’s clothes after he washes them.

He finds that tree a few steps away from the mouth of the waterfall, but it’s still close to the large pond of water said fall creates. The eastern half is cloaked in soft shade and the western half has bright-yellow evening warmth coating its leaves and branches. Looks like an oak tree, and here, there are acorns growing off the lower branches. With the perfect tree in sights, he makes his way toward it.

Here, they can bathe, eat, and relax with little to no worries. And since this oak tree is sporting some acorns, Zack knows if he soaks them then they can eat them. Even if they still have two apples each remaining for the both of them, some extra food now would help in the long run.

When Zack’s entire right arm starts to shake and tremble, he knows he can’t keep supporting Cloud’s weight for much longer. (He’s more impressed he made it here after their nap without having to stop and set him down once－after all, it _was_ late morning when they left that little clearing and now it’s early evening.)

“Alright, looks like this is your stop.” Zack smirks before he peels Cloud from his shoulder and positions him comfortably against the trunk of the large oak tree. “You’re lucky the Zack train doesn’t require any _Fair_.” He chuckles.

Silence again. But this time the wind gently blows and ruffles their hair and clothes. (At least the wind laughed at his bad joke.)

“Well, now that the matter of shelter is taken care of,” Zack mentions as he claps his gloved hands together. “I think it’s time we wash some of those clothes of yours.”

After all, Cloud did have a nightmare from their prior rest, and it had been bad enough for cause of wetting himself. He can’t continue their journey without stopping to clean him up. (That’d just be cruel. _And unhygienic too._ ) Besides, he could go for a good soak himself. He can’t even remember the last time he washed any dirt or grime off him.

Slightly shaking his head, Zack kneels to the ground as the grass cracks and folds under his weight. Then, using diligent and caring hands, he starts to undress Cloud’s lower half. Washing his clothes first would be the best course of action. If he doesn’t now, then the sun might not be as warm and strong later.

“We’re lucky these knit tops tuck into the pants huh?” Zack jokes. “Otherwise it might be a bit breezy downstairs!” He laughs softly.

Even if his jokes and words never elicit any kind of response, he still makes them anyway. It helps him feel more rooted, more secure. If he _didn’t_ talk aloud he’d probably go insane with all that silence.

He’s always had trouble keeping quiet and staying still, even since childhood.

Silence just makes him nervous.

Off comes the boots, then the pants. Thankfully it’s only the pants he has to wash. If he had to completely wash every last part of Cloud’s uniform then he’d have to sit there naked for probably a few hours. And let’s face it－being naked in the wilderness probably isn’t the best move. (Though it sounds like it would make for an interesting TV program.) Then he tucks the long knit top around the rest of his lower half and it’s just long enough that it covers everything downstairs at least.

“Alright, you sit tight－I’m going to get these pants squeaky clean~”

And he stands back up with the soiled garments in hand, gives out one last smile, and turns around to head to the pond.

Zack breathes out a hefty sigh when he’s far enough away. He stares at the stained pants in his arms with a sad glint in his eyes.

He can only imagine how Cloud must feel when this happens. His love has always been rather headstrong and independent, though insecure and a bit shy as he may be. So for him to be as he is now? Unable to move or talk or do _anything_ on his own? That alone has to be damaging to his psyche. (Aside from all the trauma he _already_ has to endure.)

And all Zack could do about it was smile and brush it all off, even though it tore him up inside. He just wants to see Cloud back to his old self again. Wants to see him move, even if it’s just a little. Wants to see him speak, even if it’s only a few broken words or phrases.

He wants to see the man he fell hard in love with again. It hurts to see him as nothing more than a blank shell, everything inside scooped out to be filled to how Shin-Ra desires.

They’re just lucky they got away before they could fill him too much.

Zack makes a small noise of quiet surprise when he steps into the pond. He glances down to see he had been so lost in his thoughts he almost walked right into the water. But his sad, rippled reflection greets his eyes and he realizes he looks just as broken as Cloud.

His hair is so mussed up and tangled, and even the strand that hangs in his face is frizzy. He’s got dirt smeared into his face and old blood from previous Shin-Ra encounters caked into his skin. His eyes are so, so droopy and baggy and if he squints hard enough he can see a wonderfully exhausted shade of purple under his eyes.

“Wow…” Zack sighs at himself. “…I look like shit.”

He steps out of the water when he realizes it’s starting to soak through his boots.

“Alright, enough of that.” He says as he shakes his head. “I don’t have time for that kind of thinking.” He reminds himself as he crouches close to the water.

Cloud’s well-being is all that matters.

He dunks the pants into the pond and nearly flinches at how cold it actually is. (He didn’t expect the water to be so cold in the middle of summer.) But his body adjusts to it swiftly and he gets started with the hand-wash cycle. He tries to rub out every stain, all the woodsy filth of dried fragments of leaves, small dead bug carcasses, and every last speck of dirt, mud, or grime his sharp eyes spy.

Once he’s done that, he lifts the soaking fabric from the water and tightly wrings it out. Then he dunks it back into the pond and lets the flow from the waterfall do the rinse cycle.

His reflection in the water does nothing but remind him how tired, dirty, and broken he is too. He thinks about slapping his reflection away－a childish instinct－but he refrains and sighs instead.

He can’t waste his energy on that.

With a determined snort, Zack takes the pants out of the water and wrings them out again. Then he does an experimental sniff to make sure he got all of the stink out. Now it just smells like water (if that even _has_ a scent).

Feeling satisfied, he sharply nods and rises from his crouch by the water. It makes his calves and feet ache from the tight position, but he bounces that out relatively quick. Now he just has to let these dry. And in the meantime, he supposes he can give himself and Cloud a good wash. It’d probably help him to feel not so bad.

He makes his way back over to the tree he propped Cloud against and reminds himself to slap a smile across his face. He’s got to stay strong and positive for him.

“Okay!” He grins once he makes it back to his side. “Pants are all nice and clean now.” He says as he tosses the wet fabric over a thick branch directly in the path of the warm evening sun.

Only the slight breeze responds back.

“Y’know what I think would do us some good?” Zack asks as he locks eyes with Cloud’s swirling Mako green ones. “A freakin’ bath, that’s what!” He grins. “Lucky for us that water is pretty crisp~”

He bends down again, but this time he goes to remove all of Cloud’s clothes. “Can’t even remember the last time we got a decent bath.” He says with that grin still stuck to his face. “I’d ask you, but I don’t think you’re really up for conversation right now.” A quiet laugh follows his jest.

Then he stands back up with a little noise of effort and takes the rest of his clothes and tosses them over the branch by the wet pants.

“And now it’s my turn to get outta these clothes.” He unbuckles the strap to his paldrons and removes them once they’re loose enough.   
“Man, why do we even wear these?” He hangs them closer to the base of the tree.  
“It’s not like they’re _that_ functional as armor. A breastplate would be _way_ more efficient! Shin-Ra really has some wacky priorities.” He lifts his knit top up and over his head before hanging that on the sun-lit branch as well.

Cloud still keeps quiet and not even the breeze gives him a response this time.

“What’s up with the kidney belt too, huh?” Zack continues to fill the silence, draping that over the branch once it too is removed.  
“And _two_ belts? C’mon, that’s just excessive.” He removes those with a jaunty huff and drapes them right next to the kidney belt.  
“And don’t _even_ get me started on how unpractical those infantry uniforms are!” He laughs as he starts to take off his boots.  
”Like, what’s with the straps near the boots? What good’re those even for?”

He’d be lying if he said that talking to himself felt silly anymore. On the contrary, it kept his brain busy.

Before he steps out of his pants, he glances at Cloud and gives him a fond smile. “You looked good in that uniform though. I always thought it was cute when you used to get embarrassed and tuck your face behind your muffler.”

He means that, and doesn’t have to force the smile on his face that follows those words.

“But I’d say you look pretty dashing in a First-Class uniform too.” He says as he drapes his pants by the rest of his clothes on the branch. “I’d like to think, had Nibelheim never been destroyed… you’d’ve made your way up to be a fine First-Class.”

The breeze blows by quickly and with a soft, serene sweetness, almost as if it was agreeing with what he said.

“See?” Zack beams. “The wind thinks so too~” He laughs brightly at that. “Anyway, let’s go get ourselves cleaned up, yeah?”

He picks Cloud back up from the tree and carts him over to the waterfall.

“Then after that, I think it’ll be about time for dinner. Then we can rest a little bit longer before moving out again.”

Silence is still the default response, but Zack doesn’t let it get to him.

“Okay, I will warn you now－the water might be a bit cold.” He informs the moment he stops right next to the rushing waterfall. “But at least it’s better than smelling like dirt.”

He steps into the water and winces at the cold. It’s almost like he’s stepping into an ice bath. But he’d rather be cold and clean than dirty and smelly. At least the waterfall would do most of the work anyway. All they have to do is stand under it for a bit.

So, once he tested the waters and how deep they were (seems like it goes up to his collarbone), he positions them right beside the water. Though the splash is enough to coat their skin with moisture, it won’t be enough to get all the dirt and grime off them.

“Ready?” He asks.

Zack tucks Cloud’s head down and plugs his nose, then leans him under the spray of the fall. His hair and skin is soaked almost instantly, but for added measure, he takes his other hand (while still keeping him supported) and musses it through his blond spikes to work out any extra dirt the fall of water couldn’t get alone. Then he pulls him out of the spray and brushes the sopping wet hair out of his face.

Cloud’s body actually reacts to the cold cleansing and he starts to faintly tremble. It’s good that his body still reacts to environmental factors. It means he’s not completely gone in his addiction.

It means he’s still in there, reacting to stimuli no matter how feebly he does it.

“Yeah, I know, it’s really cold.” Zack wrings out the excess water in his hair as he talks. “But you smell so much better now, and that’s the important part! Good hygiene means good health!”

Cloud continues to shiver, and even though it’s because he’s cold and wet, it still gives Zack some confidence.

“Okay, my turn to shiver!” He laughs as he gently sets Cloud down near the cliffs, so he has something to rest against while he cleans himself off.

Then he leaps into the waterfall and a shocked yelp follows. It’s much, _much_ , colder under the fall than it was nearby! He runs his hands through his hair and across his skin as quickly as he can before he freezes.

He jumps back out of the water with a quivering cry, already shaking and shivering just like Cloud.

“Cold, cold, cold, that is _so friggin cold!!”_ He chatters as he steps out of the water. “Oh man, _why_ didn’t I think about starting a fire earlier? That’d warm us up _and_ dry us off faster!”

He shivers his way back to Cloud and picks him back up again. They both shiver together now.

“Okay, once I set you back by our tree I am making a fire no matter how long it takes!” Zack announces as he high-tails it back to their tree.

He’s clean, but now he’s freezing and he regrets not thinking about a fire sooner. He always did gloss over important things until it was too late. Bad habit of his.

Oh well, that’s what he gets.

But at least he manages to get a fire going and Cloud’s pants are dry by the time the sun sets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To continue from earlier and to put it simply, getting robbed and pepper sprayed in your own car is /not/ a very pleasant experience. 💔 Big yikes haha. Annnnyhow, aside from sad/bad stuff, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, it is quite the light-hearted one~ and don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts on it!
> 
> See you in the last chapter tomorrow~  
> Thanks for stickin' with me! 🎶


	6. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud's recovery spikes exponentially - but briefly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this fic, huh? Wow, time's been flying haha. Thanks to everyone who's read and commented and kudo'd so far, you guys really helped cheer me up 💚

Zack used to be a heavy sleeper－self-declared one of the heaviest in the world－before the Nibelheim mission. He could sleep anywhere in any way with little to no repercussions or aches.

But after the Nibelheim mission, he turned into the world’s lightest sleeper－awake and alert at the slightest of sounds, whether it be a pen dropping or doors slowly creaking open.

That was still no exception.

Zack’s eyes snap open immediately at the sound of snapped twigs and rustled leaves. He glances all around, the glow of the fire lit before bed lighting his face, and sees faint movement beyond the trees. (Even in the dark of night.)

One… two… three… about five shadows or so move behind the cover of the woods.

Shin-Ra must’ve caught up again.

But the moment he goes to grab his sword from the tree nearby, a single bullet whizzes by and suddenly he’s sporting a 9 millimeter hole in his right hand. He lets out a muted cry of anguish and clenches it tight in his other hand.

They’re closer than he thought they’d be, (if he couldn’t even react quickly enough to deflect a single bullet). Now he’s got a decent sized hole in his hand and he’s still got Cloud to worry about.

He still sits catatonic against the tree they’re resting against, almost completely unaware of what’s going on for he doesn’t make a sound.

Then two figures from the trees step out and into plain view, two infantry commanders sporting red mufflers and loaded guns slowly approach.

“Nice of you to keep that fire lit.” The first one on the right says with a cocky laugh.

“If you didn’t, we probably would have walked right past this area.” The second on the left adds with a sneer.

Zack grunts and clenches his wounded hand tighter. How could he forget to drench the fire out before going to sleep for the night? _What a costly mistake!_

He feels blood seeping in through the scuffed leather of his gloves and he hisses sharply. Then three more figures emerge from the trees and stand a bit further away from the two commanders with the same smug smiles under their helmet visors. At least these three are ordinary grunts.

So far, he doesn’t feel any other presences around. Must only be the five of them. Still, five-on-one with the one already wounded? Not good.

“Now, if you don’t mind… we’d like Professor Hojo’s prized experiment back.” The commander on the right leers.

“He’s _not_ an experiment!” Zack snarls at them, going so far as to even curl his lips back and bare his teeth like a wild animal.

“Listen, we can do this the easy way,” The commander on the left cocks his gun. “Or the hard way. Take your pick, First-Class Failure.”

“Ooh, nice one!” A grunt from the back smiles.

“Quiet you!” The right commander barks.

The smile fades from the grunt who spoke up and he aims his gun with a tight frown.

Zack clenches his teeth tight and they grind in his mouth. If he fights back he leaves Cloud unprotected, (wounded hand or not). He can’t risk exposing him. They’ve come far from Nibelheim－he can’t give up or back down now.

So he slowly scoots back a bit, eyes never leaving the helmed gazes of the commanders and grunts. They raise their guns higher, but they don’t shoot. Probably because he’s backed himself up right in front of Cloud, and they know if they shoot him those bullets would go right through.

He’s not using Cloud as a shield－ _Gaia no_ _－_ he’s just positioning himself a little better in order to protect him more efficiently. He manages to move his Buster sword in a way that doesn’t draw any fire and he plants it in the ground in front of them.

For now, this is all he can do until he can think of a better plan.

“Why waste your time stalling?” The left commander calls. “It’s not like you have anywhere to run now!”

“We’ve got you cornered.” The right commander adds as he cocks his helmed head and grins.

What to do, what to do?

Trying to run is out. All five of them swarm all possible escape routes. He can’t scale the cliffs by the waterfall, that’d leave them open. If he engages combat with the commanders then the grunts could easily sneak past him and grab Cloud.

But if he stays here in stalemate his hand is only going to get worse and their assailants might end up losing their patience.

He must have tension and adrenaline rolling off him thick, because he hears Cloud start to make faint noises from behind him.

_“...za…ck…”_

“Don’t worry, Spike. I won’t let them take you.” Zack clenches his wounded hand tighter and the scent of blood enters his nose. “I won’t let them hurt you anymore.”

_“...Zack…”_

“No matter what it takes, I’m going to protect you,” He sets his eyes ablaze in cerulean fire. “Even if it means I die trying.”

Then,

All of a sudden,

Cloud jolts upright with lightning speed.

He instantly grabs the Buster sword in his right hand and wields it just like he does－one-handed with little to no effort or strain.

Then,

He moves faster than the crack of lightning and instantly there’s blood spurting from the neck of the commander on the right, crimson painting the sky and splashing back down against the ground with _plips_ and _splats._

“W-What the－”

Then the commander on the left is decapitated with the same lightning speed as before, and his blood sprays across the night sky as well, shimmering in the moonlight.

And Zack’s mouth is hanging open in shock.

How- _how_ is Cloud moving?? How is he so swift and nimble when literally moments ago he could barely even speak, let alone twitch a finger or get up on his own??

 _How_ is he fighting so efficiently?? He fights just like a well-seasoned First-Class－like a perfect mix of himself,

And Sephiroth.

The three grunts in the back open fire with horrified screams, the bright flash of the gunfire lighting up the night. But Cloud’s nimble body dodges every last fired bullet and he closes in on them like a crack of roaring thunder.

Blood sprays through the air and the scent of it is so strong even Zack can smell it from 15 meters away.

Within mere moments of the first two men slaughtered, the last three are disposed of just as swiftly.

And all the bodies hit the ground with muted, liquidy _thuds_ at the exact same time.

Then Cloud turns around.

His eyes are swirling green with cat-slit pupils－just- like- Sephiroth. And the thick crimson blood paints half of his face and only serves to make those eerie eyes glow even more so. Even his uniform is stained in red and he looks just as Sephiroth did the day he burned down Nibelheim.

He looks like a broken, bloody mad-man glistening in the moonlight.

Cloud takes powerful, slow strides back to him, stepping on one of the bodies in the process and crunching the bones underneath with near ease.

Zack doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t know if he should be scared, happy, or sad. He’s over the moon that Cloud’s moving, but he’s so, so horrified at how he moved and what he did. And he’s so sad. He couldn’t even protect him like he said he would.

Did he react like that because he said he’d protect him even if it meant his death? Come to think of it… the same thing seemed to happen back in their captivity.

Right－the Jenova cells…

Cloud stops right in front of him with his sword still out and ready to swing at the drop of a pen. His eyes still have that scary, bloody glow in them too and then he gently tilts his head to the right.

“Mother won’t let anyone hurt Her Child’s favorite possession.” He speaks.

It- it _sounds_ like Cloud. But there’s a subtle, wispy hiss that echoes his words. It’s _not_ Cloud.

It’s Jenova.

Just like with Sephiroth－when he went mad.

Cloud slumps to the ground on his knees, dropping the Buster sword to the ground with a heavy clatter, then he falls into him. Zack quickly wraps him up in his arms and the scent of blood fills his nose.

“M-Mother…? _Nnh!”_ He makes a strangled noise and winces. “N-No… Cloud… I… _I_ won’t let… anyone hurt you… Zack…”

The strange echo is gone from his words and Zack knows it’s actually Cloud speaking to him, not just echoes of Jenova.

All of the strength in his love’s body leaves and he rag-dolls against him. Zack frantically pulls back just enough to look into his eyes and-

They’re back to the cataleptic Mako-poisoned glow they usually are.

Zack heaves a heavy sigh and buries his head into the crook of Cloud’s neck. He got to clean him up again.

Back to square one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are at the end once again. I hope you've enjoyed the story and all the roads it took, it was definitely fun~! 🎉
> 
> And so, a special shout-out to all who left kudos:  
> IggyBiggy, esavivi, ValidIssues, hotchpot, Shadownite, Cal_Aretto, Luna_chan, KathrynHarrop90, Deelapid, Simtorta, Diecigon1, Wistaire, poppytewix, BBQSerenade, KudosPuppy, AWildStarRoamingTheUniverse, DrakonsNest, Tszune01, Lillybe_Forest, bbrown4, hairmetalballad, Ryxmas, Amonoff, Athlum, twitchypici, Mognet, Scarlett_Puff, SUNgoddessOKAMI, loviv, shardsofstrife, kwiksatik, Midnightfalterings, Lovelylittlelonely99, FaultyGear, Corydalis_Lutea, Jurrassica, s0mnambulist, EvaNyxx, RoxasJinsei, Varaki, and cocosnest3 and 31 guests...  
> Thank you so much~~! 🎶💗😊
> 
> and to those who left wonderful responses:  
> Jurrasica, shardsofstrife, Libra-no-ninja9, SmidgenThinks, cocosnest3, wingdesire, and bbrown4  
> I have no words to express how grateful your words and concerns made me feel.💗 I'm lucky to have gotten to interact with you all 🍀
> 
> And with that, thanks again all,  
> and I hope I'll see some of you for next week's prompts. (The final week is upon us!)
> 
> Take care~ 💚

**Author's Note:**

> Gotta get that good hurt/comfort blend, eh? 😉
> 
> Well, there's never much I can say during these first chapters, except I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you can let me know what you thought about it~ After all there's always room for improvement and interaction!
> 
> Thanks for reading! 📖😊


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